Love marriage or arranged marriage

                     Many a times we hear this topic being  talked about .Our TV anchors always try to get an answer from all their guests as if that is the burning problem of the nation.!Before I start talking about this I think this topic is a great misnomer-it should have been self arranged marriage   or a family arranged marriage.Is not love a common factor in both the marriages?Well, I do think so .
                         I would talk about it only in the Indian context.We are a nation of families At least we would like to  pride ourselves so .We do not send our children out of our homes at the age of fifteen .An eighty year old mother or father dictating their son to take an oil bath every Sunday is a common sight in India .So when a boy marries a girl in India it is essentially a marriage between two families .Today in these so called love marriages,or self arranged marriages ,problems generate when the family of both or either one of them start interfering .As we do not live by western standards ,these very youngsters who vow to themselves that they can defy the whole world for each other find it very difficult to do so after the passage of some  time .An independent self opining charming girl starts becoming a headstrong girl without the coy qualities of Indian womanhood for the boy .The very same qualities that attracted her towards him are the qualities that he shuns. It happens the the other way round also .The reasons for a fall out may be  due to many reasons .Since they happen to know each other for a fairly good time they tend to think that ,things will fall smoothly for them once they tie the knot .Little do they know what a roller coaster ride is really waiting for them.Living under the same roof with a person all 365 days of the year is indeed an  absolutely different  matter altogether .These youngsters who arrange their marriages themselves have a tendency to take each other for granted,more possessive.This of course leads to many a quarrel .
                                  Now talking about so called family arranged marriages ,it is really a bit odd that you will be starting your life with a total stranger.But in India the scenario is changing ,at least in the urban areas .The painful long visits by a truck load of relatives to see the bride is no more .Meeting of the boy and the girl takes place in a posh restaurant while the parents sit and talk at another table.These youngsters are in no way better than the ones who arrange their marriages themselves .Since their parents are with them ,they don't go through an emotional turmoil .May be in their initial stages of marriage they can fall back to their parents for some guidance and help .Apart from this life is very much the same for all the people .
                                      
                                  Marriage, whether you arrange it or is arranged by your parents ,is a great commitment.Each one should step into it ready to be committed to your partner for the rest of his or her life.It is this commitment that makes marriages work .Umpteen differences you might have with your partner ,if you are committed to live a life of dignity ,love and care let me tell you nothing is going to stop you.Love is not something that drops out of the skies .It is a beautiful flower that blossoms with passing of each day.This flower gets prettier and prettier with the respect and care you have for each other .Your tolerance will be tested every single day of your life,but then,if you are a sensible adult you will know how to tolerate and love your partner .This beautiful flower of love would turn into a beautiful garden full of lovely flowers .Both should put in a lot of hard work to see this garden blooming .Selfishness is a weed you must throw out of this garden of love .We start loving our children even before they are born and as long as we live don't we?Well the same rule should be applied for your partner also.
                                        
                                          I have been married for last three decades .Of course life was not a bed of roses .But when my partner comes home after a day's work it is such a pleasure for me to see him back.When I go out and come home ,I have seen his face lighting up the minute he sees me .I think that is the essence of all relationships -how much you care for the other person.So folks self arranged or family arranged a marriage should be one of LOVE lots and lots of it!